Mother - behave!

It’s been a long time coming, this summer.

Only earlier this week I was suffering the humiliation of friends on facebook basking in sunshine in England, Scotland and Ireland, while it was still throwing it down in torrents outside my window here in South West France.

But it’s here now. I am fairly convinced of that. Not just because the sun is shining but because nature says so. That very same wounded nature that took a winter kicking that no human would have survived.

There’s a strange thought? Does Nature give us the seasons? Or are they bestowed on it as a challenge?

Mother Nature – is she God’s friend and confident? Or is she some biblical working hero, battling whatever ‘the Forces’ throw at her?

‘Try this on Mother – a 15 month drought!’

‘No problem Mister, bring it on. We will just shorten our season - me and my plant kingdom. We might even decide to flower at Christmas just to cheer the humans up, if we so wish. Our animals will suffer a bit and maybe have a few less babies, but our birds will still sing. We can do without your water. Stick it where the sun don’t shine pal.’

‘You would defy ME, oh Goddess of mere organic matter? See how your flowers like THIS. Minus 20 in your southern namby-pamby sunny-town.’

‘Oi – that was a bit nasty. Come on Man. You’re killing things.’

‘Killing? Oh really. I must apologise…NOT! Serves you right. I am HE.’

‘Well, I just bought myself a coat, thanks.’

‘Really? What a waste of money. Have a month of sun, let’s see you shrivel..’

‘Rain, Chuck. Just give us some rain. We’re surely due a bit now. Come on, let’s not fight. Why the bad mood?’

‘Rain? You want rain, huh? You ever hear of Noah? He wanted rain. Have some of this…and don’t tell me you have a brolly. You and your kingdom better get down to Wallmart for some deep-sea gear, Missus.’

‘We’ll manage. Give us what you got….”

6 weeks go by.

‘OK. Enough. Can we talk….?’

‘You started it.’

‘No it was you, actually. With that apple thing.’

‘What’s Steve Jobs got to do with it? He says Hi, by the way.

‘Look Man, it’s nearly June, and the tourists are leaving.’

‘Say sorry.’

‘Alright, alright. I am sorry I deleted the last episode of X-Factor off your Sky-box! Now please let the sun come out for a while.’

"Okay - but you will have to have a plague mozzies as payment!"