Old Mr Frazier had a farm, eieio.
And on that farm he had some cows. And he ate lots of them and lived very
healthily until he was 88 years old - and the weather was the weather. The end!
So please will the media, both
social and anti, stop telling me to become a vegan. Your arguments are
inherently flawed, as is your complexion. Despite the propaganda being driven
by massive corporate business, who have a lot of money to gain by it, meat is
good for you and the planet, especially if it is UK produced. If you must eat
imported avocados, lettuce (in winter) and almond milk, take a good look at
where it comes from and how it gets to you. I mean properly research it, don’t
just ask your sycophantic smug vegan friends. Seek out some real science, not
the one-sided BS you see on TV.
Oo, that feels better. To the
rest of you, welcome officially to a new decade, possibly one where I become
even more grumpy than the last one. At present we are still in Fife, enduring
Storm Brendan battering our windows and keeping our occasional builders away. I
have to say it is quite satisfying to see some of our pile of 150 year old
bricks now built around our wooden framed extension but we are still a long way
off the mark, with the roof leaking faster than Julian Assange and the pressure mounting. Shortly we will be
away back to Chauffour in time for lambing, hoping to take in a 6 Nations rugby
game in Paris en-route, in our old camper. Just a few weeks ago we took 'Libby'
on a winter trip up to the frozen North, spending a weekend in the cute village
of Braemar. Sadly though, for the first time in the 3+ years we have had her,
the engine decided to splutter while we were climbing the long road up towards
Glenshee ski-slopes. As we dropped to a walking pace, the coughing got louder
and for a minute of two, it looked like we were to spend a night in one of the
highest points in Scotland, in mid Jan, in a tin-can with no heating - not an
ideal situation. Thankfully we managed to get over the summit and freewheel the
next 15 miles or so to our destination. The machine is now in dry-dock awaiting
news of her intestinal trauma. Hopefully it is all repairable else it might
scupper our travel plans somewhat.
Whilst on our visit, after a
quick distillery sortie, we popped into the splendid Fife Arms hotel - the
irony that we actually live in Fife, some 120 miles away, not lost on the
breeze. What used to be just a local hotel for tourists, skiers and the odd
deer-stalker has now been bought by a pair of art dealers from Switzerland, who
have spent 4 years and a lot of millions turning it into not only a luxury
place of rest, but an art gallery to boot. In fact they have done it so well it just won
hotel of the year 2019 - quite a coup for a tiny backwater in the Highlands. As
you enter its vast ornate vestibule you are faced with an original, if not
ghastly, Picasso overlooking a Steinway piano painted in bizarre colours and
imported from LA, having previously been played by some jolly famous musicians.
In the courtyard a giant spider spans the entire area which was sculptured by
Louis Bourgeois, who evidently did a massive amount of drugs, since a plaque
explains it was created an ode to his mother! Try as I might to love abstract
art, why is it I always see the emperor as just a naked man having a laugh!
Anyway, the subject of skiing has
now thrown its gauntlet on to the table and, after a 3 year absence, I quite fancy
going this year. Obviously, since we used too many plastic straws, the climate
is no longer cold enough for snow in Scotland, so subsequently we have booked a
trip for early March to the Pyrenees. This now gives me precisely two months to
lose about four stone so I can fit into my ski-suit. Couple this with trying to
persuade my thighs and knees that they soon have some official duty to perform,
and my daily and somewhat lazy routine has just been turbocharged into
breathlessness. As a precautionary measure I did drop into the docs to check
that I was fit for purpose which met with a few sighs but, finding nothing more
wrong with me that a half-pickled liver, he gave me the green light for another
year. If you don’t hear from me next
month, send plaster - or perhaps flowers!
Whilst on a grumpy note, I have
to raise a questionable eye on a profession that I consider even more
despicable than plumbers: yes, you got it, estate agents. We currently have a
few properties on the market and, over the last few years, have had dealings
with dozens of these people, each and every one who have been about as useful
as a one legged man on a five legged horse.
Yes I am sure there are a few reading this column that may raise an
eyebrow at this but I can only speak as I find, and what I find doesn’t seem to
work. Today I have met with yet another one full of promises and science, far
better than those before him, apparently. Whoopie-do, should I hold my breath
that this year might be the year of the house-sale so we can all prosper once
more? Let's see, shall we.
No comments:
Post a Comment