JC 4 PM

 And here we are, heading home again. Quick as a flash our winter months in Scotland are coming to an end as we gear up for lambing and springtime. With that comes a smattering of hard work as we dust, clean, paint and repair our house in Fife ready for the influx of holiday-makers who ‘staycate’ here from now until November. Paint will be the order of the day back at Chauffour too, as we just picked up 25 litres in B&Q at a third of the price it is over there. Sounds like there will be some fence repairs to do as well, as we just received a message from our local Mairie saying our sheep have spent more time on the road than in their designated confinement. We do have a house-sitter looking after them, a Kiwi at that, but seemingly he cannot count!

This time of year is also rugby season and I have recently been mentally slapped around by the locals since Scotland once again ‘defeated England in a fast and furious game’. The following week we headed to Murrayfield, not only to watch them defeat Wales but to cheer on a Herculean effort from a few friends of mine who had cycled up from Cardiff to Edinburgh in just 52 hours, raising over £50k for the Doddie Weir Foundation in the process. By the time this goes to print the next couple of rounds of the 6 nations will also be behind us, and I am not too hopeful for an English team who shed their manager less than one year before a world cup.

It seems we won’t be the only ones to be leaving Scotland this week, as our First Minister has found the exit door, maybe just moments before it was shown to her. Who will replace her is as yet unknown but they surely cannot continue with her absurd opinions on issues of ‘trans indie ref’ of whatever terms the media are using. After a salmon and a sturgeon, one would expect someone equally fishy, if only to hold the front page? I will admit her reign has done us no favours when it comes to business and I for one will be glad to see her departing the coop, brutal politics or otherwise.

When it comes to leaders, I would like to put forward Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister – of the world, possibly! I know there are a few out there who dislike his bombastic straight-talking attitude but I bet he would have more votes than Boris, let alone the more recent two, and he certainly would redress the balance of a society that is spiraling its way into woke-land. Once or twice I have been likened to the great man in the way I try to sort the sensible from the absurd in some of my publications but I categorically deny that I am any match for his talents. Those of you who have watched Clarkson’s Farm would have to concur that he has done more for farming in 2 series than any minister or other TV programme, exposing the industry warts and all.

I may have mentioned my latest crime novel a few times recently, although I am not sure it had any effect on sales. However, last month I was invited to do a book signing in a distillery which went swimmingly well. From that a few other similar establishments have started stocking copies and I have had an ingenious idea that maybe Wendy, I and Haggis should take it on tour. There are a 143 whisky distilleries in Scotland, let alone those few in England and Wales, so we may be some time but if we can have a dram in each, and they take a few copies each, well that has to be a win-win doesn’t it? More promotion is now underway including an article in the Courier Newspaper next week and a promo video just live on social media. I can’t say it has been easy writing and promoting in a new genre where I am an unknown quantity, so my next one will track back more into my comfort zones around livestock. Now well underway, possibly the world first ‘sheep murder mystery’ is destined for publication in time for Christmas - which at this rate, will be here before we can say ‘Sam Smith, what the F are you wearing!’