Holding back the Trump

Forgive me father, it’s been a while. 2024 has been such a busy year that I have neglected my duties a little bit, including my column for the Rock News magazine, which normally contributed to this blog.

The life of an author is usually full-on but with three books published in one year, this one has upped the anti towards melting point. Couple that with a continuous podcast, commentating, after dinner speaking, running a property company and two, nay, three, flocks of sheep and it tires me out just writing this.

Anyway, I am not complaining as I sit with my back to the sea in Fife. I would face it but the sun is shining through the window so brightly I can’t see my screen, and this is mid-December. Also the constant blink of the Christmas lights are offering me epilepsy, should I care to dwell on them. Somewhere in the room are a pile of a variety of books, all with my name on the front cover, and a sharpie ready for me to sign inside the cover. Behind them stands my wife, with a roll of packing tape and the car engine warmed ready for yet another trip to the local post office, which is now 10 miles away since they shut all the ones around here. Yesterday I was in England, buying a sheep, last week it was Texas, selling books, tomorrow I am in London speaking at a dinner, and so it goes on.

Our History of Aberdeen Angus book, the one it took three of us three years to write, is selling fast, although not yet caught up with breakeven status. We have sold 400 at £100 each, just another 150 to go to pay for the editor, publisher and printer of the 2000 copies we had done. All in good time.

The History of Texel sheep which I also co-authored has arrived at my door and I have to say the printers made a great job of it, again something I am highly proud of. A few weeks ago we were at a rather posh hotel in Chester, celebrating 50 years of the breed being in UK. Sadly the book wasn’t there with us, an oversight not to be blamed on yours truly.

Finally, Lord of the Hollow Mountain was released on paperback on Sunday, possibly too late for the Christmas rush but I am pleased with the result. I am sure it will piss off a few Scottish Blackfaced sheep breeders as I deliver a fictional account of skullduggery in the sheep industry, with as many disclaimers as I could fit in. If anyone recognizes themselves within the cover, it was surely unintentional. However, if the cap fits, wear it, eh?

While wiling a few hours away in the airport yesterday I was drawn towards a poster advertising fart-proof pants. Yes, you read that correctly. Flatulence resistant underwear is now a thing, marketed under the name of Shreddies! I have yet to ascertain whether these garments prevent flatulence, or just eat up it’s odour, but they are selling fast. I will shortly find out as, when I mentioned them to my wife, she swiftly went on Amazon to invest in some, just as a trial. Whether for me or her, I am as yet yet unsure. I am guessing the proof will be in the Christmas pudding, when the trumping really starts!