Tuesday 22 January 2013

Press that button, Harry

        When does the press stop being the ‘press’ and start being a pain in the arse? I suppose that is a rhetorical question as, to some, it has never been anything else. In many ways, I admit, I could be tarred with that brush too, but I show no remorse because, in my view anyway, I only really point the finger at blatant incompetence and stupidity and, in my mind, this is acceptable fodder for me to rant about. Not just fodder either, but things that really need to be brought to the public’s attention.
For example, if the government, both national and local, fail to keep the English roads moving and close all the schools when they have half an inch of snow, this smacks of bungling inefficiency and is wide open to ridicule, not just by me but by anyone with an IQ in double figures.
But…and there is often a but.
Should they really hound ordinary people to get stories – or heaven forbid, make up stories – just to fill their newspapers? HELL NO!!
I suppose the difference between us, says me, desperately trying to excuse my own belligerence, is that when there is nothing to say, I say nothing, whereas they are not allowed to.
Well, today, I do have something to say, and it is about ‘the National Press’, as, in my opinion, they are a despicable bunch of bastards who should all be hung, drawn and quartered for crimes against humanity!
Consider that a bit harsh? Not at all.
Were the press not in charge of the report into Lady Dianna’s death, I am pretty sure they would have been appointed as solely responsible for it. That in itself has to be treason, as murdering a member of the Royal family has always been.
Now we see them hounding the next generation with their filthy tactics, sneaky cameras and grossly spiteful comments. Except, many of us don’t see, because we don’t want to, as we buy the daily trash that condemns innocent people to a life of purgatory. But then, when Prince Harry stands up and tells them what they really are, tabloid papers and TV feign hurt as though they have done nothing other than their self-appointed jobs of work. How dare they!
For god’s sake, the boy has been in the military, which is a damn sight more than any of you hacks have been. Doing his duty for his country, but all they can say was he is doing it to show off, and are far more concerned about him swimming naked in a swimming pool with a few mates at a drunken party.
Of course he hates the media, quite understandably, seeing as they killed his own mother. If ever he were to be King, wouldn’t it be nice if he could take revenge in the same way. Maybe he could single out the ones who did him most harm and have them nailed to a cross outside Buck House, or better still, shipped out to Afghanistan to live in caves. Perhaps he could pen them all into Hyde Park for a few weeks without food, a la, The Hunger Games, while he takes a few pot shots at them from his Apache helicopter. Sadly, this will never happen, so still they walk away Scot free and unaccountable. They are cowards, each and every man-jack of them.
You see, unlike my writing which is open to reviews and scrutiny on Amazon and other channels, theirs isn’t. Sometimes readers of my books may say things like, ‘that book was a load of bigoted tosh which I didn’t even finish, here have a one star review to spoil your book sales, Power to the vegans!’ or ‘I thought this book would be funny but it didn’t make me laugh enough because, from time to time, the author made some quite serious statements!
Prince Harry can’t do that, or at least he isn’t supposed to.
So I say, BRAVO mate, for saying you would rather be in a warzone being shot at than be in your own home country hounded by hyenas with less scruples than a drugged-up magpie.
One back for the good guys, today. If only it could be reported that way.


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